Translated by: whosays25
The train stopped in front of my face.
“JILLIANNE MORIE OF 2-B, ATTEMPTED SUICIDE…[click to see more]”
It was another post from the blog of my unknown stalker. I checked it through my phone and I was correct when I guessed that it will be updated.
Great. Now they would think that I’m suicidal.
Everything happened just yesterday but the news spread faster than even lightning, not only in the school but even in the cyber world. Through a viral photo, what I’ve done became famous. The train didn’t hit me, but still, it caused a BIG commotion.
The gossips, stares and murmurs I received escalated more when I walked the corridor. The hate and disgust in their eyes were replaced by pity. The heck!
My school got bothered because the media might intrude for me. They’re really trying their best to cover up the situation. That’s what schools are, protecting their stupid reputation.
I was suspended for this day because they took this day to interrogate me at the counselling office. They’ve been talking at me for so long and I hate the way they exaggerate. They were still not letting me be freed from counselors’ sermons who keeps on walking at the center while I was not really listening and was just sitting there at the office’s lounge. Miss Karen was the witness to what I did so she’s here sitting at the sofa in front of me.
I didn’t say a thing until they concluded everything. They said I was bullied which caused the depression, and that depression leads to suicide attempt.
They finally get tired of it so they chose to leave. That’s good because they were only irritating me. Now, only Miss Karen and I were left at the office lounge.
“You can go home if you want.” She said. I shook my head because I still don’t want to go home. We eventually left that office and walked the campus vicinity. It was still class hour so no students were loitering. Psh, that’s better.
I remember the events yesterday, the things I uttered to Yue. I didn’t do it to save him. It was to end the stupid ‘system’. Miss Karen was there, she’s the one who stopped Yue because I told her what was supposed to happen. But she didn’t stop me when I did what I did. She also didn’t say anything when we’re in the office. I wonder why.
“Why did you not stop me yesterday?”
“I don’t want to ruin your plans.” She answered right away.
She knew that I have plans? Probably she’s also aware of the system but she’s not saying anything about it. Weird. But I no longer spoke.
We were turning for the next corridor when Mr. Rank one, Lord Ireneo appeared.
“Can I talk to her?” You’d think that he’s concern, but it’s only because Miss was here.
“I’ll go ahead.” When Miss Karen left our sight, he faced me. His facial expression changed. His rage, I could feel it. Maybe he couldn’t accept that I won.
“First of all, I want to congratulate you, Jillianne Morie.” I wasn’t looking directly at him. He grinned.
I didn’t answer, I just smiled.
“I can’t believe this; I can’t believe that you can do such things. You really amazed me, Morie.” He approached nearer. “Do you think I was not aware? From the beginning, I already knew what you were attempting to do.”
I’m right. He already figured it out. Ireneo is smart so he easily discovered my intentions. But from the start, he didn’t believe in me.
“You deliberately failed the test so that you’d be at rank forty. I’ve been thinking why you did that until I thought of what you wanted to happen. At first, I didn’t believe you could do it because it’s very impossible. Until yesterday.” I only noticed that he’s so close to me by now but I’m still not moving from my place.
“They reached a conclusion and because of that, they will not only keep an eye to you, but also, to us.”
He leaned closer to me. I can feel his breath at my ears. “But this is not the end yet.”
That whisper, it gave me creeps. I said, “I will expect more then.” He stepped back and then he walked away. The moment that he disappeared, I knew, I won. Baldo was right when he thought that I could change it. I already did.
Friday is the favourite day of everyone since the dismissal is earlier. I was almost out of the gate when someone called me.
“MORIE!” I heard them said in unison. When I turned to look, Aya’s hug greeted me.
“MORIEE! I’M SORRY!” She’s crying really hard. “I WAS T-TOTALLY S-SCARED BY T-THEM BECAUSE…BECAUSE…HUHUHUSORRYYMORRIEEWAAAAHSORRYYMORRIEEEWAAHHHUHULKADJAD.”
I couldn’t understand what she’s saying. I only comprehend Aya’s ‘sorry’ and ‘Morie. She was embracing me tightly so I was finding it difficult to breathe.
“It’s…fine.” I tapped her back. I was trying hard to free myself from her since I couldn’t inhale air due to her tight hug.
“WAAH – “ She released me, finally. “I’m very sorry.” She repeatedly rubbed her eyes and she’s still crying.
“I’m also s-sorry.” Baldo was here. “Sorry since I did that.”
“We’re deeply sorry for doing nothing.” Even Penelope was with them.
“M-morie.” Beside Penelope was Yue. “Thanks…” So, he’s grateful?
I don’t know how to react in this kind of situation. Everybody feels sorry for me. But why is this? It makes me feel…light within.
I stared afar. He was looking at me and I know, he wants to approach me…but he couldn’t. I know you feel sorry for me too, Morris.
It’s a gloomy Saturday.
I almost forgot that there’s an event today. A party will be held at the Morie residence. If only I could not go… but I nodded to Albert.
“Jillianne, hija.” An old lady was standing in the doorway, it’s Manang Fe. She’s only here every Saturday, to do her chores, and she was only sent here by my ‘good’ father to check if I’m still alive. Psh. “Albert will be here soon. Aren’t you going to dress up?”
I glanced at the clock near my bed’s edge, then I stood up from lying down. Manang Fe remained standing at the doorway, looking at me. But I ignored her.
I’ve never been good to her ever since I arrived at this apartment. It’s not that I’m treating her bad. I repeatedly told her before to not come here anymore but she still comes every Saturday. Psh, maybe Dad paid her huge.
That’s it. I dolled up myself and then exactly six pm, Albert fetched me. While on the road, we’re not speaking.
It was around quarter to seven when we came. He drove the car in and then he left me at the front door of the huge house. This was the place where I used to live an almost perfect life.
The melancholic aura of this place was still the same. I can no longer remember when was the last time I stepped on its large backyard. And now that I’m here again, out of the blue, Lily’s words when she visited me came into my mind.
“There’s no place for you to come back.”
Is there anymore?
“Your father wants to see you.” Albert said, he sounds serious. Did he know? Did they know what I did? I followed him, we came inside and we’re greeted by the visitors. I don’t know them so I did not pay them any attention.
When we reached the front door of the living room, Albert opened it for me. There they are, my father, Dr. Richard Morie, standing beside her was my stepmother, Elinor.
And where’s my dear little sister Lily?
I entered the room without knowing what to say. Dad stepped forward…to greet me?
“Dad, I – “ He greeted me with a slap. How sweet. He gave me a beautiful welcome. Huh, what have I expected? That he would embraced me? Tss.
Who wouldn’t be angry towards the foolishness I made? The school told him, for sure.
“I am so disappointed, Jillianne.”
Great, when were you not disappointed?
“Ric.” Elinor stopped him.
But what my father had said… already broke my heart… again.
I should not have come here. How stupid of you, Jill. Dad left, Elinor followed. If Lily was here, I know she’d be happy to see what happened.
“There’s no place for you to come back.”
Lily was right. And I hate her for this.
I also went out of that room and head downstairs where there were many visitors. I saw my dad together with his new family. So, this celebration was actually for Lily huh.
I…am not needed here.
It’s been some time since I escaped that place. It’s regretful that I even came back there again. I shouldn’t have went home because… just nothing. It’s windy and cold. It’s been so long since I roamed the city since I wished to avoid encountering people and seeing their future. Tss.
I just walked and walked until a strong rain suddenly started pouring out. Those walking together with me started running to look for some shelter, while I, just let it drenched me. What a dramatic time it was, the rain matched my feelings.
I was waiting for a vehicle to ride on when someone shared me his umbrella.
“Do you know the beauty of the rain?” said the one who offered his umbrella with good will. “Even when you’re crying, no one will see that.”
You’re here again, Enriquez.
Translator’s Note: A ship? Maybe? MAYBE NOT? By the way, I almost cried while translating this.
Manang – a term use for an older sister or an older female, also use as a respect to elder women whose name you don’t know.
Hija – same with iha, young lady, or missy.